Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 10 years. We are both in our late 20s. For the past few years, he has constantly gone out with his friends on his day off, even though we can only see each other once a week. Things would get so bad that we would call it off and he would go talk to some other girl during this “break,’’ which always seems to happen around summer or December. He would always come asking for me to take him back and work on our relationship. Then he would be loving and we would be great — until the cycle started again.

Recently, I asked him to move in with me, and he is having a difficult time agreeing to the idea. I am more financially stable so I live on my own and he still lives with his parents. He was working on getting a better paying job but that seems to take last priority right now along with our relationship. We’re obviously going through the cycle again, but this time feels different. Our temporary breakup lasted two months. We’ve been trying to make it work, but I can see that he still can’t commit. It doesn’t help that all his best friends are single.

I really love him and I know he loves me too, but since we started dating at a young age (18 years old) I know he wonders what life would be like if he wasn’t in a serious relationship. When do I walk away? I’m completely fine with him going out with his friends, but I just want to feel like I’m still a priority. I know I deserve better than how he’s been treating me, but is there any way to save our relationship or should I just call it quits? I’ve invested so much and I know that shouldn’t be a reason to stay, but I do still really love him. He tells me that when he imagines his future it’s with me, but I’m afraid of getting hurt again. Were obviously getting older and we do talk about marriage, but I don’t want to get married until our finances are in order and we figure this out. I don’t know what to do.

Time to Let Go?

A. “We’re obviously going through the cycle again, but this time feels different.’’

It is different. This time around, you’ve hit a wall. You’re exhausted from the breakups and from chasing him on his days off. You’re sick of being pushed away.

It’s time to let go — for real — so that you can experience what life is like when you’re not orbiting someone who can’t give you what you need.

The breakup will be sad, because you do love him. And yes, it’s frustrating that you’ve invested so much time. But please know that you haven’t wasted any time. You needed all of these experiences to get to the right place, which happens to be where you are now. You’re in your late 20s, living on your own, and ready for company and new experiences. It’s a great place to be. Make the breakup official so you can start to enjoy it.

Meredith

READERS RESPOND:

I’m betting his reluctance to move in with you has a lot to do with the whole “live-in girlfriend’’ situation cramping his style when it comes to finding the women he dumps you for one to two times a year. It’s a lot harder to pretend you’re single when you live with someone.

JUST-ANOTHER-BOSTONIAN

Break up with him. You’ll both be happier. I don’t have to tell you why you will, since you already outlined it in your letter.

SMASHATOMS4

What led you to conclude that this guy was the last single man on earth? And when he made a beeline for others during his time-outs, why didn’t you do the same?

DANGLEPARTICPLE

Moving in with you will probably cut into his busy video games and masturbation schedule.

RICH1273

Read Mere’s advice. Three times. Follow it. Go talk to some other boy and stop forcing a square peg into a round hole.

SUPERCHICK

Eject, eject, eject. Because — game over, man. Game over.

HARRISBLACKWOODSTONE

Column and comments are edited and reprinted from boston.com/loveletters. Send letters to meredith.goldstein@globe.com.