Every day, police officers respond to reports of all sorts of events and non-events, most of which never make the news. Here is a sampling of lesser-known — but no less noteworthy — incidents from police log books (a.k.a. blotters) in our suburbs.

IN THE DEEP DARK WOODS

OK, so we all know that cute pet videos fill up about half of the Internet’s bandwidth, but were you aware of the latest animal-related cyber sensation? Why, screaming goats, natch: They’re all the rage lately, starring on YouTube videos and television commercials. But only a lucky — or perhaps unlucky — few have heard the real thing, a sound disturbingly similar to that of a human in distress. That’s apparently what happened in Bedford on the morning of Jan. 6, when someone called police to report screaming coming from the woods near Rodney Road. Officers checked the area and soon discovered the screamer: a goat holding forth on a nearby street.

UNTIL DEATH DO US PART?

At 2:23 p.m. Jan. 15, a woman called Bridgewater police to report that her name had been crossed off her gravestone with a black marker. For the act of vandalism, she volunteered to police, she had a suspect in mind: her ex-husband.

A BEAR OF A TALE

On the morning of Jan. 23, North Reading police received a report from a resident of Spruce Road who spotted a brown bear by her trash barrels. The proliferation of bear sightings in many of Boston’s suburbs has been a growing phenomenon of late, but don’t add this one to the list: Police determined the creature was actually the top of a plastic trash bag.

THE AGONY OF DEFEAT

No wonder she was upset: First the Patriots lose their AFC Championship game Jan. 24, then her kid’s beloved Patriots jacket goes missing the next morning. At 5:23 a.m. Jan. 25, Walpole police received a call from a woman who reported that her son’s Patriots jacket had been stolen. An officer was dispatched to the scene, where the jacket was found — in the back seat of the woman’s car.

PET-FRIENDLY INTRUDER

On Jan. 30, Newton police responded to a home on Waverley Avenue for a report of a breaking and entering in progress. The resident told officers that his dog started howling, and when he went downstairs to check, he saw a young man he didn’t recognize in his living room, clad in a sweat shirt and jeans. The intruder had doffed his shoes, the caller said, and was leaning over, petting the dog. He was friendly to humans, too, telling the resident his name was Tom, he was 25 years old, a student at UMass Lowell, and in need of a place to stay, with nowhere to go. He was also, judging from the heavy odor of alcohol, quite inebriated, said the resident. When asked to leave, the guy simply picked up his shoes and walked out the back door.

THE AGONY OF DEFEAT

No wonder she was upset: First the Patriots lose their AFC Championship game Jan. 24, then her kid’s beloved Patriots jacket goes missing the next morning. At 5:23 a.m. Jan. 25, Walpole police received a call from a woman who reported that her son’s Patriots jacket had been stolen. An officer was dispatched to the scene, where the jacket was found — in the back seat of the woman’s car.

TEMPERS FLARE OVER TEMPERATURE

Thermostats are often at the center of disputes this time of year. Some like it hot; others prefer to dress in layers and play it cool. But one such disagreement escalated to a point that the police were called. At 7:43 a.m. Jan. 24, a woman called Bridgewater police from her Harvest Lane home. The emergency? Her husband refused to turn the heat up. It was not immediately clear how officers cooled the situation.

SONGBIRD SILENCED

At 1:29 a.m. Feb. 5, Peabody police received a complaint about a man screaming loudly as he walked down Moulton Road. The responding officer found the offender, all right, and reported that the man had been singing loudly and claimed to be unaware of his volume. That, however, marked the end of the crooner’s public performance, as the officer gave him a ride home.

THE PRICE WAS RIGHT?

On Dec. 30, a man informed Bridgewater police that the tailgate from his truck, parked on the side of Route 18, had been stolen while he was hunting. At 1:38 p.m. Jan. 14, Saugus police received a call from a manager at Walgreens who reported that approximately $200 worth of blood pressure monitors had disappeared from the store. At 10:10 a.m. Jan. 28, a man told Dedham police that he found his white Toyota 4Runner suddenly missing all four wheels — tires, rims, everything. The SUV was propped up on milk crates.

Emily Sweeney can be reached at esweeney@globe.com. Follow her on Twitter @emilysweeney.