Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for five years. Recently, we have been talking a lot about having children and getting married.

I’ve never been interested in a formal marriage, but would be happy to marry him if he asked. He has always pictured his (eventual) children being part of the wedding ceremony.

Because of this, we’ve decided to start our family and buy a house before we have a formal wedding ceremony later in life.

We’re in our late 20s, have educations, savings, a lovely apartment, and a dog that is fantastic around small children and babies. We both work full time, and he is returning to school in the fall to take part in a yearlong program.

We gave up our party lifestyle a couple of years ago and now live a much quieter life.

We want to expand our family but are scared about timing. We know there’s no “perfect’’ time to have kids, and we’re ready to say goodbye to the last of our crazy youth, but we’re still nervous.

How do you know when it’s time to start trying? Is there ever a moment when you know you’re 100 percent ready?

Unsure

A. If you plan to get married anyway, why are you waiting? And if you are not interested in formal marriage, why would you be “happy to marry him if he asked?’’

You seem either confused or very casual about marriage. Delaying marriage until after the kids are born because he wants to have your own children participate in the wedding ceremony seems distinctly immature (to me). I suggest you pursue more clarity about why your guy feels this way. If he wants a cute ring bearer, maybe you could enlist your pup.

Generally, the only moment you know you’re 100 percent ready for kids is usually when/if you’re struggling to get pregnant after months/years of trying. Then, the whole thing becomes bathed in urgency and certainty.

Otherwise, most people fly by the seat of their pants, to some extent. Your lifestyle at this point sounds like you’ve made a nice nest and you’re both readying to fill it. Good for you.

Q. You referred to “Not Lonely Woman’’ as an “introvert.’’ Not Lonely said she preferred being alone, and that she lost interest in talking to people “after 10 minutes.’’

I’m an introvert. This person isn’t an introvert. She is a jerk.

Introvert

A. “Not Lonely’’ didn’t seem obnoxious (to me), but genuinely preferred her own company to being surrounded by people. This seemed to fit within the parameters of introversion.

Amy Dickinson can be reached at askamy@tribpub.com.