So DeMarcus Cousins, DeMar DeRozan, and DeAndre Jordan walk into a brothel . . . that should be the setup for a joke, but here’s the punch line: This actually happened, according to a TMZ report. The USA Basketball stars found themselves inside Termas Monte Carlo, a well-known brothel along the Copacabana beach Wednesday night.

The players reportedly did not know it was a brothel, and left when they realized their mistake. Termas Monte Carlo advertises itself as a spa (with a full bar, catering exclusively to men — you be the judge).

No coffee grounds in Brazil

Coca-Cola seems to be everywhere around the Olympics, dominating commercial breaks on the broadcasts and, apparently, flowing heavily in Rio.

This is to the dismay of athletes who like to start their days with a cup of coffee — which is not available in the Olympic village. Coffee, you see, is not a Coca-Cola product.

Ahmed El-Nemr, an Egyptian archer, told NPR he asked officials how he could get some and was told that only soda was available.

Hopefully El-Nemr will be able to get his hands on a cup or two before the competition. A bleary-eyed man with a bow and arrow seems like a less-than-ideal situation.

Last-second selection

Marathoner Vanderlei de Limawas a surprise choice to be the final torch bearer into Maracana Stadium and light the Olympic cauldron Friday night. Brazilian soccer superstar Pele was expected to carry the flame.

When Pele announced Friday he could not attend the ceremony because of ill health, speculation began to swirl.

If de Lima had been asked at that point who would carry the torch, his guess would have been as good as anyone’s.

He didn’t know he had been chosen until about an hour before the ceremony.

In fact, de Lima was only able to tell the story of the last-minute selection because he ran into a group of reporters as he bought beer at a gas station after the show was over.

He was still wearing his Rio 2016 garb.

Bullet pierces media tent

A scary moment interrupted the normally tranquil scene at the dressage competition when a military bullet ripped through the roof of the media tent.

The bullet fell to the floor and no one was hurt.

Competition wasn’t interrupted because the incident took place during the lunch break.

Members of the Brazilian military, coming from a compound nearby, arrived at the arena hosting the equestrian events quickly.

Nora Princiotti can be reached at nora.princiotti@globe.com. Follow her on Twitter at @NoraPrinciotti.