‘Why do I trust animal shows? They’ll be like, “If there’s a dog chasing you, don’t run.’’ [Expletive] that, run! Never in the history of dog chases has there been a dog chasing somebody, and the person stopped, and the dog was like, “You’re lucky you stopped. I was about to bite the [expletive] out of you a second ago.’’ ’

Corey Rodrigues plays Nick’s Comedy Stop Friday and Saturday

Nick A. Zaino III can be reached at nick@nickzaino.com.