Q. I’m a 14-year-old. My family is pretty much the perfect family . . . except for their homophobic attitude. This wouldn’t be that big of an issue if I were straight, but I’m not. They’re always saying things like “GLBT people are disgusting and need to die.’’

I’ve been putting up with these remarks for a while now, and I’m starting to believe them. I need to talk to someone, but I don’t have anyone. We live in a conservative area, so most of my friends are homophobic too. (I know this because they express it constantly.)

I can’t put up with them any longer, but I don’t have anywhere to go, and I don’t want to abandon my life here. Besides the homophobic attitude, everything is great.

Do you have any coping tips for getting though the next three to four years?

Gay but not Happy

A. Please check out my fellow advice columnist Dan Savage’s groundbreaking project for GLBT youth called It Gets Better (www.itgetsbetter.org). On the site you can view hundreds of video testimonials submitted by GLBT people who have survived bullying, harassment, and cruelty, and who don’t see themselves as victims but as survivors and victors.

Connecting with other people who have been through this experience is an important and inspiring step for you to take. The site also features hot line numbers for GLBT youth: (800) 246-7743. (In Canada, visit www.kidshelpphone.ca)

Closer to home, I hope you can find someone to talk to in person, either a sympathetic family member or a teacher or counselor at your school.

Please try to remember that you are perfect just the way you are, and that you are worthy of love. There is a worldwide fellowship of people who are ready to embrace and support you.

Q. Your response to “Engaged Daughter’’ was awful. Why blame a young couple for wanting to create a splash for their engagement? Engaged’s mother was invited to partake in this but declined. She obviously doesn’t support the couple, and they have nothing to apologize for. Disgusted

A. “Engaged Daughter’s’’ mother was invited to witness the engagement, but it was a surprise, so no one told the mother what she would be missing if she didn’t attend the gathering. Then the couple posted their engagement video on Facebook without even telling the mother they had become engaged. Given both sides’ flair for drama, I think apologies should be exchanged.

Amy Dickinson can be reached at askamy@tribpub.com.